Oh No, No, No! Don't Apologize!

Dealing with difficult or disparaging comments from a “Challenging” boss is VERY simple:

 

1.       CONFIDENCE (even if you’re dying inside)

2.       Never apologize unless you are absolutely in the wrong.

3.       Never explain unless an explanation is demanded.

4.       Don't say sorry while you're explaining.

 

I am a natural apologiser... 

 

"Sorry, to bother you, could I just have 5 minutes of your time for you to sign these urgent documents that will make you lots of money". 

 

"I'm sorry that the person who works for another company who I have never met before was 15 mins late to the meeting I organised at his office". 

 

"I'm sorry that the traffic was so bad that you were late for your Opera".

 

"I'm sorry that the suite in the hotel (in a country with a 9 hour time difference that I have never been to and don't speak the language of) was so below par that there was no natural light in the bathroom".

 

"I'm sorry that you're in a bad mood this morning".

 

 

 

It is your job to help them get everything done that needs to be done and in the way they like it. But certain circumstances are beyond your control. Do not take responsibility for them! 

 

For document signing that MUST be done today simply walk into the office (when they are not on the phone – naturellement) and say "This is the sign off for the new Client Management System, it needs to be done today" put it down on their desk at the appropriate page with a sticky arrow and hand them a pen. Make sure you know what it's for or about – riding that little monster can bring a whole heap more of “I’m sorry”.

 

Traffic is a universal HATE. If your boss has to be somewhere at a certain time find out about the journey times. If they’re collecting their partner – tell their partner what time they will have to leave home. Timings are easily figured out with googlemaps and if that's beyond you speak to the driver or car service (that said Addison Lee are OTT about their timing and will get them there an hour early!). If you’re worried, just google "live traffic reports".

 

Hotel accommodation - if they pick at you for this simply say "I was assured that you were getting a premium suite, next time I'll make sure that the hotel knows your preference" - then make sure you do... (and shhhhh with the “Sorry”).

 

Bad moods.... If you say "I'm sorry you're in a bad mood" it can go one of two ways... either in you clearing your desk or in them laughing it off and apologizing to you. It's a game of roulette so don't play it - leave it under your breath - and then stand well back. 

 

If you have forgotten to do something then do it as soon as you remember - if it's too late... then it depends on your boss. Honesty is the best policy, but the amount of times you will genuinely forget is minimal. Make sure you only apologize for genuine mistakes - they are much fewer and will make you appear much more efficient. Never say "I'm sorry, I forgot" it sounds arrogant and defensive. "That was an oversight on my part" is a better option -  remember not to follow it with "I'm sorry"... just leave it hanging and see what they do. You have taken responsibility for it - you don't need to beg for forgiveness. They might sigh with disappointment - and they might remind you about it in the future... but you will not be thought of as the PA who is always doing things that she has to apologize for!

 

If you succeed in doing this - tell me how. :)